I've been doubting for a long time whether I should stock my stuff somewhere in case I would come back crying after a month or two, or sell everything and say goodbye to my beautiful collection of ...uhm.. stuff.
The thing is, I've always had a lot of luck finding an apartment on the most crazy ways possible, same as for losing them.
I've been living with an organization that offers the chance to live in abandoned offices, bars, houses, etc... at very low prices. And I now happen to live in a dream-apartment with the best neighbours ever! Deciding to let go of a home that helped me living a decadent life with a normal wage, is not the most clever thing to do.
But hey, I'm blond.
I kind of have this thing for things. I easily get attached to stuff that has no value at all, but happens to be with me for a long time. I would give my bike a name (Miranda), talk to my plants or hug my empty apartment for the last time.
I've chosen to sell everything I own. I will have to say goodbye to my beautiful couch, heavenly bed and fully equipped kitchen in order to be free of everything that has always kept me here.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone, right? It better be true.
The big sale
I've always visualized myself opening my house like a kind of second hand shop and let shoppers come by for anything they might need. This idea seemed absurd to me, since I love what I own way too much to sell it to complete strangers. Yet, I really came to the point that my dear house transformed into a store, which empties itself in only a small matter of time.
Thanks to social media, I could post photos of almost everything I have in second hand groups and sites. The comments and likes were beyond and my doorbell didn't get a break for a while. A big advantage of all this, is that people come to pick up everything themselves, and you are not bothered with moving any of it.
At the same time, it is a great lesson of letting go. Sometimes I had to have a moment with myself to accept the fact I was selling my favourite shoes. The awful emptiness looking around and seeing the chaotic pile of stuff disappear, quickly transformed into a feeling of complete freedom to do whatever I want. I'm not attached to stocked furniture any more, nor humid boxes of clothes I might wear when I come back.
On top of that, this whole sale showed me how much there is out there on the internet from people who have bought stuff without considering if they really need it. Living in a consumer society old stuff needs to be replaced by newer designs in order to keep up with the fashion of the moment. Looking at my own wardrobe, with over 100 pieces of clothing, I can only be ashamed. Luckily I can give them a second life now, but it's not to be ignored that a lot of people just throw away articles no longer used. I'm proud to say I haven't bought any new things since I've quit my job and the whole travel idea started to get form. I've made a switch in my head to consume less in order to get to my goal: "save money, get rid of my belongings, go and see the world". Sometimes I had a deep urge to buy a new dress, trying to convince myself I really needed it.
I have never given in, and I'm still alive.
It's funny to have people over you have never met, who put on your favourite dresses, take away your pots and pans so cooking becomes impossible, or come to claim the couch from under your butt.
Little by little, I'm letting a part of my comfort go.
Little by little, the only thing left in my apartment will be my backpack and a big portion of courage to take that train and live the moment.